SPEAKER_12 0:03

Heads up angels. While our podcast is suitable for all ages, keep in mind these episodes were produced in a different era and may include scenes of danger, crime, or themes some listeners may find sensitive or outdated. When doing our rewatch, we do our very best to discuss everything with care, context, and compassion, and always with a love for the show and respect for our listeners.

SPEAKER_08 0:33

Last time on Good Morning Charlie. And coming up.

SPEAKER_14 0:54

And I'll bet you meet a lot of interesting people, though. I'm always interested in meeting interesting people.

SPEAKER_12 1:44

Colby, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_08 1:47

I'm recording this podcast with you, is what I'm doing right this moment. Then with a long sigh, she's back. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_12 1:57

She thinks she's funny, but frankly, I've never been able to see it. No, no. No, no. Don't even start. Patty, don't start. I don't think people realize the pumpkins you've been discussing. You're growing from seeds.

SPEAKER_08 2:12

I am growing from seeds, yes. I went to, I want to say Lowe's and bought a couple of packets of pumpkin seeds. One of them is mixed pumpkins. Uh, you could get uh, what are they called? Like some Jackbee Nimbles and um now are they are they like Jack Bee Nimbles or are they Jack Bee Nimbles? They are probably like Jack Bee Nimbles. But in doing so, he missed the point. Uh, and now of course I can't think of the other one, uh, but we'll call them little pumpkin babies. And then I bought a separate packet of mini pumpkins, which now I have mixed all together since I've just replanted the garden. Instead of trying to get any mini pumpkins, I use seeds from the first packet. So they are slightly larger. They're not um traditional pumpkins that you would be used to that are um, you know, let's say like larger than a basketball. Um they're about the size of like a cantaloupe.

SPEAKER_12 3:20

I'm might you post a photo of your like pumpkins you referenced last week that are getting bigger?

SPEAKER_08 3:27

Yes, I will, because my most recent planted seed has just sprouted out of the soil.

SPEAKER_12 3:36

If you were to pull seeds right out of a pumpkin, say at Halloween time when one is up inside a pumpkin, would those seeds grow?

SPEAKER_08 3:46

I don't know specifically how you would house a seed until the next time to plant spring. Um, but yes, you should be able to use seeds from a previously grown pumpkin uh to grow a new vine. What word did you use?

SPEAKER_12 4:07

You don't know how one could what?

SPEAKER_08 4:09

Like house it. Like, should I keep it in a like a very dry place? Should I put it in like a you know a bottle or something?

SPEAKER_12 4:17

I'm just tickled pink. Your second option was do you put them in a bottle? I don't know where that came from, but I'm delighted.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

You know, I think it'd be a better idea to put it in a bottle and uh launch them with it.

SPEAKER_12 4:30

I think we should probably just skip me again this week and get right into the podcast because I'm exhausted.

SPEAKER_08 4:36

I am beyond exhausted.

SPEAKER_12 4:38

What is today's assignment, Colby?

SPEAKER_08 4:42

Today's assignment is Angels on Ice Part One. We decided to go with the syndicated listing for these episodes, which originally appeared as two-hour specials on ABC, as it dovetails with the DVDs and many episode guides uh and streaming services. Why don't you give us our case briefing?

SPEAKER_12 5:05

Great. Here is your like case briefing. It all starts because Charlie has a friend with a problem, like many a setup from past episodes, only this time it's not Ida Lapino in a haunted house. It's TV legend Phil Silvers. He's playing Max, the owner and operator of a touring ice capage show with a semi-permanent setup and rehearsal space in LA. Two of his star skaters disappear at the beginning of the episode. That's why he contacts Charlie, because everyone knows they were having a fling, so Max needs to know did they run off together? Or I mean, probably, but could it be something worse? He is rehearsing a huge new show, and he either needs to lure them back or replace them.

SPEAKER_08 5:57

Now for some super secret intel from behind the scenes. The original air date is September 21st, 1977, as a two-hour movie special event caught on the heels of the two-hour premiere of Angels in Paradise the week before. The syndicated part one most often comes in at 50 minutes, although we all know syndicated versions of shows from this long ago can vary in length. If you are watching along, it is important to know a streaming version, a DVD version, or even a previously released DVD version can all be different. I believe the box set is Mill Creek, if any of our listeners also have that. Produced by a familiar name to our listeners, Edward Lasco, who also served as the primary story editor, written by Rick Eldenstein. While he only wrote this episode of Charlie's Angels, he has several additional writing credits, including his first official gig in 1958 on Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Directed by Robert Keljan, both an actor and director. He had roles in series such as The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits. He directed many of the pod faves and five episodes of Charlie's Angels. Some fun, classified details that you need to know. We have a location alert. The primary ice skating venue used in Angels on Ice was the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena in Exposition Park. Most of the skating performances, dressing rooms, and arena interiors were filmed there. The Memorial Sports Arena was a favorite Hollywood filming location. It appeared in films such as Rocky, Rocky II, Soylent Green, Space Jam, and later stood in for the Miami Hockey Arena in Dexter. One interesting production note, because this episode required extensive ice skating, the producers hired real championship skaters, including Inga Schilling and Tom Lawler, for many of the performance sequences, while Cheryl Ladd and Jaclyn Smith used doubles for the more demanding skating routines.

SPEAKER_12 8:22

Hey, may I ask a question?

SPEAKER_08 8:24

Mm-hmm. Certainly.

SPEAKER_12 8:26

In reference to Exposition Park, which I feel like I'm about to enter, and uh LA Memorial Sports Arena. What of those movies we listed off do you like the best? Rocky, Rocky II, Soylent Green, Space Jam, Dexter. What's your favorite? I would say Soil and Green. Interesting. Just wanted your opinion. And yours? I've not seen any of these.

SPEAKER_09 8:51

Okay. You haven't seen Space Jam?

SPEAKER_12 8:54

Maybe. I'm old. I've seen a lot of things.

SPEAKER_08 8:59

Before we begin the debrief part one, let's take a little break.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yes, Dark Angels. And this is the new Charlie's Angel's Print. Charlie's Angel's Underwater Intrigue also comes with this glower's gold outfit. Angel, I have a diamond for you. Charlie's Angels dolls to bring the Christmas Kelly and Underwater Intrigue each sold definitely from Hairsborough.

SPEAKER_08 9:39

We are back and ready to begin the debrief of Angels on Ice.

SPEAKER_12 9:43

Welcome to the debrief, everyone. Welcome to Exposition Park. Gentlemen, ladies and ladies, there are times when Charlie's Angels gives you all you need to know up front. In fact! That's when most of the episodes we've covered, but not today, no. No, then there are episodes like this one, during which you wonder who is whom? What are they doing? What do they do? How they do, and why. Here are a few things you need to know before we begin. Because we, the viewers, are actively learning what's what, alongside the Townsend team, I'm going to stop and review every now and then. And we'll bring Colby in on these parts so he can talk about pumpkin babies and how it dovetails with ice capades. And if you thought, speaking of Colby, he used the word goon a lot. Buckle up, baby, because you ain't heard nothing yet. It is goons a go-go, and I'm dividing them up into two categories, which Colby refuses to follow. So I try to get us to work as a team, and I think you can hear that in the effort I set forth every week. I think we know I'm trying as best I can. We have what I shall call the major goons in this episode, and they work as a foursome and often wear masks. Remember that. Then we have two sub goons hired by the major goons to work for them. And they are the pro skaters, Colby mentioned to them earlier. And they were hired by the major goons to help out with their plans for we don't know yet, and we're not even gonna know until way into the second part of this episode, which we're not even going to get to on this particular pod. Now, are we ready? Does everyone remember we're gonna be learning together? Yes. Hear the word goon a lot? Yes. Four major goons who wear masks? Yes. Two sub goons who can ice skate really, really well? Yes. Now, the scene. It opens up with an ice show, like Disney on ice, but not. But I loves me some stock footage. Oh, Colby. It wastes no time this episode in delivering all we could possibly want in some ice skating B-roll. I can only describe it as maybe Paramount went through their files and they looked up generic ice spectacular number 14. So what is this? Is this the ice capades? Is it holiday on ice? Is it the winter Olympics? We'll never know. But Colby, do you like the Winter Olympics? Because I have found, in my experience being alive on this planet and sometimes sober, people tend to favor in America the Winter Olympics because of the ice skating. What are your thoughts? Go.

SPEAKER_08 12:42

I love the Winter Olympics. I uh am no exception. I love ice skating. I love skiing. Uh I love gymnastics. Uh it's all just really uh spectacular to watch.

SPEAKER_12 12:58

Are gymnastics part of the Winter Olympics?

SPEAKER_08 13:01

They are, yes.

SPEAKER_12 13:02

Are they really?

SPEAKER_08 13:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 13:03

I also know that sometimes people can be completely and totally wrong.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

I said, where did you go to school?

SPEAKER_12 13:08

I'm gonna make a confession to everyone. This has been a problem I've suffered with all my life until I met Colby. And then I had two big problems. I have this horrible aversion to watching professional ice skaters. This is the big reason. I'm terrified they're gonna fall and chip a tooth and they'll come up off the ice and there'll just be blood dripping down because it matches up with one of my unnatural fears I have with me all the time, which is I am going to you know what one of my dreams is to never be interrupted while I'm on a roll. That would be a nice dream to come true. No, I have an unnatural fear of falling and chipping a tooth and getting up off wherever I have fallen, and then there's blood and like a chunk of tooth in my lip. So I can't watch ice skating at the Winter Olympics. Now, for real, real, for film actually done for this episode, we switch gears and we see two very skilled skater actors, not the ones Colby mentioned. He's thrown me way off my groove.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove.

SPEAKER_12 14:13

They're practicing for what we assume is some big finale and some big show update in the works. We're right, by the way. That's exactly what they're doing. The ice show has ended and they're practicing. Colby, you look like you want to say something.

SPEAKER_08 14:28

Yes, so oh my god. The team leaves the the ice show and they're commenting on the fact that they enjoyed it and they wanted to thank Charlie for the ticket, and then Bosley tells them that, well, it wasn't just for enjoyment, it might be a case. But we see uh Bosley sitting behind uh Serena and Kelly, and he is stealing all of Kelly's popcorn, and all I can think is especially when I go to movies with friends, I like get unreasonably irritated with the speed with which people eat popcorn. It is just inhaled so quickly that I just like look around and I think, did you taste any of that?

SPEAKER_11 15:26

She ripped the phone cord out of the wall and left him there to die.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

No jury, we can take it.

SPEAKER_12 15:33

Alright, let me interpret that. This was Colby speak again. He's going back in time to earlier in my exposition park. During the stock footage, it cuts to scenes of the crowd, and all the angels in Bosley are there chowing down. Correct? That's what Colby is referencing. They leave, Bosley says what he just said, and then we cut to the two very skilled skaters practicing for what I assume is their big finale for some big show or an update in the works. But I had left that other part out in the interest of time because I care about our listeners. Now they wrap up these two professional skaters in the show, and they head back to the locker room slash training room, which will feature a lot in this episode. And one of them, the female, takes asthma medication, and everyone stop! Colby, stop whatever you're doing. We know this is true, and I'm the only one brave enough to say it. Whenever someone takes an asthma medication in a TV show or a movie, you know that asthma medication is coming back. You remember it. Colby, every time.

SPEAKER_08 16:47

It is a huge plot point.

SPEAKER_12 16:49

The it movies spring right to mind. Also waiting in the wings and moving into the locker training PT room is Billy. Billy has the asthma medication for the female skater at the ready. Now, who is Billy? Uh we don't know yet because that would be helpful. He could be a trainer, he might be a coach, he might be the stage manager, or security, or maintenance, or he might just be a large man who wandered in the arena one day and nobody ever questioned it. But I'll tell you this. How can I put this delicately? I would stake all twelve of my livers on this fact. The writers had Of Mice and Men in mind. Because Billy appears to be a little Lenny in Of Mice and Men. You know Lenny, who wants to name him George and hug him and pet him and squeeze him, like the abominable snowman in the Bugs Bunny cartoon. Do you remember the abominable snowman who grabbed Daffy Duck because Bugs Bunny had slipped Bunny ears on top of Daffy Duck's head?

SPEAKER_08 18:00

The you mean the red one?

SPEAKER_12 18:02

I'm going to lose my mind.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

I hated her so much.

SPEAKER_11 18:12

She ripped the phone cord out of the wall and left him there to die. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.

SPEAKER_12 18:22

The giant abominable snowman, because Bugs Bunny and Daffy take a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

SPEAKER_15 18:27

I wonder you know, I just bet we should have tried left at Albuquerque.

SPEAKER_12 18:32

And end up in the Himalayas and run into.

SPEAKER_08 18:38

I could have finished. Does everyone here?

SPEAKER_12 18:40

And then Bugs Bunny goes to Palm Springs and he takes the abominable snowman with him, and the abominable snowman melts because he's in Palm Springs. He's completely made of snow. Does any of this ring a bell? None whatsoever. Then Colby, you will not know. Warner Brothers did a retcon for this character, and his official name is now Hugo. Colby, did you know though you mentioned the red hairy thing? So let's talk about that. They also did a retcon for the character of the giant hairy red thing in tennis shoes. He's now Gossamer.

SPEAKER_08 19:14

Yes. Uh I so I remember episodes with Gossamer more so uh than I do with the Yeti. Uh because Bugs Bunny is sort of like tricking Gossamer, uh, I guess, to get to not attack him. But anyway, he sits him down at uh this table and he gives him a manicure.

SPEAKER_12 19:41

Yes, he's doing this here and says, Bobby Penis, please.

SPEAKER_08 19:44

Yes, and for whatever reason, it's always stuck with me, but I constantly quote, I've always thought monsters led such interesting lives.

SPEAKER_12 19:56

I worked that soundbite into a past episode. Do you even we know your stewardess friend doesn't listen to this podcast because you admitted that, but do you ever listen to it? I worked in a soundbite from my stars. The places you must go and the places you must see. Time to dip your patties in the water. You don't remember me working in my stars?

SPEAKER_08 20:21

I sure don't. Well, you know what? Maybe I do.

SPEAKER_12 20:24

But we need to get off of Bugs Bunny and back to Lenny. Wait, I mean Billy. So after ensuring the female skater has her asthma pills, he leaves the locker training room, and our two lead skaters get it on. They are right there getting at it. And what are their names? Jack and Helene, the latter of which, BT Dougs, is pronounced three different ways during this episode. Big shout out to the continuity folks, although I would accept any continuity person to help with this podcast. Outside of the arena, because you know it's TV, so they have to do a little cutaway. Billy walks over to a mysterious luxury blue car and accepts a suspicious wad of cash from a hand, as if it's thing from the Adams family, that's all we see, and walks away. But that's not the end of the scene. After Billy clears out and the coast is clear, the four major goons spill out of that car like clowns exiting a circus Volkswagen and stroll through the conveniently unlocked arena door Billy left open. While the skaters, Jack and Helene, are getting romantic atop a therapy table, riddled with dirty towels. The goons are getting closer and closer. Oh now, note, note, Helene is still wearing her thick thermal skaters tights. So good luck with hitting that, Jack. I don't think you're going anywhere. But the goons enter one the major goons. One is a gorilla, one is Jimmy Carter, one is Richard Nixon, and one is Is a very uncomfortably racist mask depiction of Henry Kissinger. Colby, did you know who that was, or did you have to think a minute about it?

SPEAKER_08 22:10

Well, we had talked about Henry Kissinger in a previous episode, right, in the Mexican connection. So yes, I do. Well, and the the glasses on the mask are really kind of a giveaway that it's Henry Kissinger.

SPEAKER_12 22:25

And these, everyone to visualize it, these are not those little plastic masks you wear as kids that just go over the front of your face. These are the rubber ones you pull on that now you have to get at Spencer gifts. And frankly. I've never seen that movie. Was it filmed at the LA Memorial Sports Arena with Sullient Green?

SPEAKER_08 22:46

Just keep going.

SPEAKER_12 22:48

See, that's a callback, Colby, and that's what makes for quality entertainment. So getting it on, Thermal Tights, four major goons, four masks, one very racist, which I didn't have any of that on my Charlie's Angels bingo card. The skaters are promptly chloroformed into next Tuesday, which honestly, Colby, sounds like the best sleep I would have in years. And it's giving us very season one Lady Killer Feline Club, right? All over again. Chloroform must be widely available. Colby, smell this.

SPEAKER_08 23:24

I'd love a nap.

SPEAKER_12 23:26

I'd love for you to take a nap too. Everyone, this is just the first scene of this episode. We're maybe five minutes in. And for the second scene, we cut to the Townsend team, gathered in Max's office. Remember, Max is Phil Silvers, the owner slash operator of this traveling but also semi-permanent ice show. Max, Phil Silvers, is a longtime friend of Charlie and he needs the team to help find these two missing skaters. You better watch this episode just for Phil Silvers, who is a legend. He is a legend. He is TV royalty. He is not acting in this scene. And neither this episode or the next one. He is consuming scenery. He is gnawing through every piece of wood paneling in that office, every chair, every lamp. If he'd gotten to the drywall on the set, he'd have chewed through that too. He is bellowing, gesticulating, Colby, that means when you wave your arms around like this. See what I'm doing?

SPEAKER_04 24:29

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_12 24:30

Just over the top. If you thought, this is a callback, Ida Lapino was maybe overacting a little bit when she was at the studio that later became the police station for the opening of season two. If you thought she was overacting a bit, she had never witnessed Phil Silvers.

SPEAKER_08 24:49

Well, why don't we talk about Phil Silvers? As you mentioned, he is TV royalty, born in 1911 and died in 1985 from Brooklyn, New York, and nicknamed the King of Hutzpah, one of Sabrina's favorite words. I'm just thankful you pronounced it correctly.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

Can't believe she did it.

SPEAKER_08 25:10

Star of the Phil Silver Show from the 1950s, as the always scheming Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko, two Emmy Awards for Best Actor and the Phil Silver Show, won three years for uh Best Comedy Series. Hannah Barbera, which we brought up in the last episode, built an entire cartoon around this character. If Bilko's fast-talking personality sounds familiar, there's a reason. Hannah Barbera essentially built Topcat around the Bilko character. If you grew up loving Topcat, you've already been enjoying Phil Silver's influence. Disney connection, get ready. We've mentioned it several times. He was in The Strongest Man in the World, starring Kurt Russell, and The Million Dollar Duck.

SPEAKER_12 26:01

It all comes back to the Million Dollar Duck, and you made fun of me the first time I brought it up.

SPEAKER_08 26:06

I sure did and will again. Two Tony Awards, Best Actor in a Musical, 1951's Top Banana. And the same for A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and was also in the subsequent movie version. But long before he conquered this new thing named television, he was already a successful vaudevillian, burlesque comic, and network radio star. And not only that, but he also took a stab at songwriting and wrote the hit Nancy with a Laughing Face, performed by Frank Sinatra.

SPEAKER_12 26:44

And also the lesser-known follow-up hit, Colby with the Sour Puss.

SPEAKER_08 26:49

Yes, I love that song, Constant Rotation.

SPEAKER_12 26:53

This is quality entertainment. Let's get back to Phil Silvers as he gnaws through a coffee table.

SPEAKER_06 27:03

What do I wind up with? Three cheerleaders and a guy who inhales maps. Trust me. Trust me, he says. In six days, I'm finishing open the season. Opening night was sold up. Movie stars, big old men for the Middle East. And what do I have? I'll tell you what I have. Missing stars is what I have. A show is what I have not.

SPEAKER_12 27:30

Either on purpose, because everyone at the arena knows they like to play, you know, hide the triple X every now and then, or something bad has happened, but he needs to know how to proceed because they are currently rehearsing their new Uber Patriotic. I mean, you'd think this is 2026 in the Bible Belt. They are rehearsing their new Uber Patriotic Salute to America show. We know why that was big at the time, don't we, Colby?

SPEAKER_08 27:59

Why being patriotic was big at the time? What was happening? What was going on?

SPEAKER_12 28:05

You tell me.

SPEAKER_08 28:06

Something significant?

SPEAKER_12 28:07

Yeah. What had just happened, Colby?

SPEAKER_08 28:10

I don't know. You tell me.

SPEAKER_12 28:13

What year was before this year?

SPEAKER_08 28:15

I think it was 1976.

SPEAKER_12 28:17

And what happened in 1976? Max is stirred up because he's gotta get these rehearsals cracking, but everyone else is kind of low-key about the disappearances. Even Jack's wife, remember the two skaters, Jack and Helene. Jack's wife works for the show, and she's sure Jack will come back to mama. Those are her words. Because he always does. It's just how it is. And candidly, I think his wife is better off without him. But you know what? I didn't write this episode.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

My so-called husband is the bleed skater.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

Jack Ward? I hear he's a terrific skater. Yeah. Skater 10.

SPEAKER_13 29:07

Husband Zero.

SPEAKER_12 29:10

Max, the owner, knows who the last person was to see Jack and Helene at the arena after their rehearsal. Who do you think it was?

SPEAKER_08 29:18

I think it was Linny. Oh, wait.

SPEAKER_12 29:22

Billy, yes, Billy. And praise share on high. We finally learned through Max what Billy does. Billy is an all-purpose handyman, a gopher, a maintenance guy. Basically, if something's heavy and it needs lifting, Billy's your guy. We're also told Billy is indeed a little delayed, which is the word we'd use now, but that is not how they described it in 1977. But you learn better and you do better. Colby, could we for a moment talk about the flawlessness of Kate Jackson? Colby, could we? Colby, could we?

SPEAKER_08 29:59

I can't wait to, because I want to bring up something right after you tell us how amazing she looks.

SPEAKER_12 30:10

Her middle part is restored, so I can finally get on with my life. She is in a simple striped shirt, a blue skirt, a white sweater draped jauntily across her shoulders, and that's it. No sequins, no big collars, no hot disco pants explosion. She looks effortlessly elegant, and I believe Kate Jackson never gets enough credit for how incredibly chic she looks, wearing absolutely nothing remarkable. You could have just yoinked right off a shelf.

SPEAKER_08 30:42

I love that you brought up this look when in the prior scene she's wearing that beautiful periwinkle pantsuit, but you brought this up. It the the periwinkle looks so good on her. Um, I love that it has like a vest and a jacket with it. Um when I saw it, I thought Sabrina looks incredible in this suit.

SPEAKER_12 31:11

Since we just invoked the forever high and most holy name of Kate Jackson, let's begin with Sabrina. They've wrapped up their meeting with Max, and she's going to go talk to Billy because Max said Billy was the last person to see them, and we know that's right. Sabrina goes to the same locker training room and she chats with Billy. She uses her real name because of course why wouldn't she use her real name? And tells Billy why she's there to interview him. You see, she, Sabrina Duncan, is the main rep of a large conglomerate of investors wanting to buy out the show from under Max. The investors want to know if everything is as together and on the up and up as it seems. Does he have any good behind the scenes scoop he can tell her off the record? That's how she opens. We know Sabrina is trying to guide this employee into talking about the disappearance of Jack and Helene. But Sabrina is way too good at her cover and asks far too many probing questions, unlike Colby, under the guise of needing details for this tricky takeover. And Billy goes full tilt boogie like he's petting a mouse or that poor puppy in that barn, and he begins to just fling equipment around and stretchers and massage tables and dirty towel carts.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Dream of it. Lady, I told you, you ain't supposed to be in here.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

It's a place for everything, and it's a place for everything, and everything, and it's a place. Would you care to explain your relationship with Helene Robinson?

SPEAKER_03 32:54

I don't want to talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Okay, all right. Thank you much. Very important, very, very enlightening. Thank you.

SPEAKER_12 33:07

Thankfully, she's very nimble. And she's able to make a quick getaway because she weighs about 11 pounds and remembered all that police training she had. She makes it out of the room okay. And I mainly mention this scene, not because it's terribly vital, because I try to really cut out stuff, but because I just wanted to work in one more reference to Of Mice and Men.

SPEAKER_08 33:28

Guest Star Alert, James Gammon. If you were sitting there thinking, why does this guy look so familiar? It's because over the next 25 years, he became one of Hollywood's go-to character actors. If you needed a sheriff, a baseball manager, a rancher, or someone who looked like he could fix a tractor, James Gammon was your guy. Noteworthy appearances, he appeared in season three of Charlie's Angels as a different character. Voiced a character in The Iron Giant, a favorite movie of a friend of the pod named Kevin, who is actually not a Kevin, we've referenced yet, but that's a whole nother story.

SPEAKER_12 34:09

So many Kevins.

SPEAKER_08 34:11

Just far too many. Disney's live action, The Adventures of Huck Finn in 1993, Nash Bridges, Major League, Silverado, HBO film Truman as General George Patton, Stephen King's Silver Bullet, and one of my favorite movies, Cold Mountain. He plays Esco Swanger, uh, and that is the film with Nicole Kidman, Judah, and Renee Zellwigger.

SPEAKER_12 34:41

What a name, Esco Swanger.

SPEAKER_08 34:44

Isn't it though?

SPEAKER_12 34:45

Could we start calling me Esco Swanger?

SPEAKER_08 34:48

We can. Oh, he just has one of the most heartbreaking scenes in that movie.

SPEAKER_12 34:52

Does he need by a bear? I just know there's lots of snow. I guess that's why they call it Cold Mountain.

SPEAKER_08 34:58

There's some snow, yes.

SPEAKER_12 34:59

What is it about?

SPEAKER_08 35:01

Uh, it is about Jude Law, who absconds from the war uh because he is in love with Nicole Kidman and has to be with her. What war is it? The Civil War.

SPEAKER_12 35:14

Oh, all right.

SPEAKER_08 35:15

There is actually a town in Georgia called Cold Mountain.

SPEAKER_12 35:18

Is that where you grew up with all the bobtails? Now, if you think you're exhausted after about 30 minutes, imagine only about 15 minutes has passed in the show, so let's talk about what we know. This is one of those reviews. To this point. Everything has been going down at the LA Arena and Max's office. Now we're going to be at the docks, so we're switching gears, and they are properly run down docks, mind you, which is how docks must be depicted. Kobe, I hope your upcoming Alaskan cruise docking locales are not this seedy. I don't want you to pay good money for this docking location if it's seedy and full of ne'er do wells. Are you paying for this Alaskan cruise, by the way, or is it free like your flight to Canada? Because you know a person who doesn't listen to our podcast.

SPEAKER_08 36:10

No, it was not free. I paid for it.

SPEAKER_12 36:13

I'd like to hearken back to last week's breakdown when Colby pointed out they were on a seven-day cruise. They were going to pan for gold, and then he quickly pointed out, you know, in a river, like we thought they'd be panning for gold in space. And then he talked about how they were going to port places because he knows how I love it when people make a noun into a verb. But we learn a thing or two, finally, but it's not about anybody's motivation. Jack and Helene and the four masked major goons are here because CD talks. And Helene reminds Gorilla and Henry Kissinger she needs her asthma medication because plot device. And the kidnappers, the four major goons, to their credit, they seemed mildly concerned, and they discussed this troublesome issue and how they need to get rid of the one how many? One security guard who is in charge of this entire LA arena. Nobody asked me how many security guards you should have, but I guess I'm not the HR department at this arena. I should think you would need more than one. But as if Henry Kissinger's mask is not racist enough, all four major goons speak like Boris and Natasha about to go get Moose and Squirrel.

SPEAKER_10 37:32

When our last episode was switched off in utter disgust by over 37 million anxious viewers, those two wrongs, Boris and Natasha, were proving they couldn't make a right. A right bad idea.

SPEAKER_00 37:42

Tink, Dolly, think! There must be something really rotten we can do today.

SPEAKER_10 37:47

I'm thinking, but the worst I come up with is helping to make Moose and Squirrel show one hour longer.

SPEAKER_12 37:53

And as we learn later in the next episode, they're not even Russian. I believe these actors should go to a class where they learn how to do accents. Now can I do an accent? I cannot. But I'm not on TV trying to do an accent and failing miserably. Colby, can you do accents? No, we all know you can't. Two goons are going to stay at the CD dock and watch the skaters. The other two goons are going to handle the asthma meds and the arena's one count it. One security guard. What is their ultimate plan, Colby? Why must the security guard be kidnapped? We don't know. But we know the main security guard has to go. So naturally, scene cut to the arena, that big giant luxury blue car. They lure him outside and yeet him into that car.

SPEAKER_15 38:48

Yink, yoink, yink, yink, yink.

SPEAKER_12 38:55

Straight through a passenger window, like Freddie Krueger did Nancy's mother through the front door window at the end of Nightmare on Elm Street. This was impressive. I think this is my favorite thing from the entire show thus far, Coldie. How he was yoinked and snatched like a wig. Everyone, you have to watch it. He's just did you did you notice it?

SPEAKER_08 39:16

Yes, I noticed it.

SPEAKER_12 39:17

Didn't you think it was a substantial yoink?

SPEAKER_08 39:21

It was a little forceful. Uh, I'm not sure it was quite as forceful as Nightmare on Elm Street, but it is a decent comparison.

SPEAKER_12 39:30

While that is happening outside, everyone else has to establish covers. Chris and Kelly are inside auditioning to be the two new replacement skaters, even though they're both female and the missing skaters are a male and a female, but yet again, nobody asked me to write this episode. It just seems weird. They can barely skate, but do they get hired? Yes, because plot. But suddenly, and I do mean almost as suddenly as that security guard disappeared into that car and Nancy's mother disappeared through that front door window. Two professional skaters, a male and a female, pounce on the ice and they proceed to whirl, whirl, twist and twirl, jump around like flying squirrel.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

Whirlwirl, twist and twirl, jump all around like a flying squirrel. Now don't you cuss and don't you swear, just come right out and form a square.

SPEAKER_12 40:20

Kelly, Chris, and the new boss, the show's producer/slash choreography guy, they look on and their mouths are hanging open like a codfish. Now Max is also there, and he knows what Chris and Kelly are doing. He's been watching on, and he immediately hops up and tells the choreo guy, hire these two, as the male and female pair who came out of nowhere, out of nowhere, out of some side time portal. They skate up all smug about themselves in their little outfits and the cute little skates and everything like that. And they say, Listen, this is what we can offer. Did you see? Did you see? And they also talk like Boris and Natasha, which is racist, and we think everyone's from Russia. And they explain they simply heard of the vacancy through talk around town. Now, as we approach a break, I see two problems, Colby. The I show only needed two skaters to proceed with their patriotic rehearsal while the Townsend team figures out the scoop with Jack and Helene's disappearance. But now they have four skaters. We now have enough goons to require a flow chart because we have these sub goons and then the major goons. And if that's not enough confusion, there's really a third problem in that, and that is that while this was happening, somehow behind the scenes, that yeeted security guards replacement has been magically hired, and it's one of the major goons. Now he's not wearing a mask because who would hire that? But he is wearing amazingly, naturally, a proper security guard uniform. And sweet, buttery henchman. Let's take a break. And when we come back, we are going to review where we are because I am exhausted and we are just halfway through this episode.

SPEAKER_05 42:17

Your big sister is the fabulous Jill Monroe. She plays tennis better than you, she roller skates better than you, and she's a prisoner better than you. It can all lead to an identity crisis.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

The pit, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 42:29

Little sisters just have to discover what they're good at.

SPEAKER_03 42:32

Can I say it? Love today.

SPEAKER_05 42:34

Yeah, Jill's good at that too. Keep watching Angel Heaven on TV land, home of the Angel Expert.

SPEAKER_08 42:41

Welcome back, Chris. We are only about halfway through part one, and there are so many unknowns. The viewer typically already knows in most Charlie's Angels episode. So why don't we review? We know that the let's say two main ice skating stars have been kidnapped.

SPEAKER_12 43:01

Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_08 43:02

By four men.

SPEAKER_12 43:05

Max.

SPEAKER_08 43:05

The only thing that we know is that we have heard two of the goons talking, and they say, We're here to kill the traitors. That is all we know.

SPEAKER_12 43:20

We don't know who the traitors are.

SPEAKER_08 43:22

Right.

SPEAKER_12 43:23

It could be Max. We don't know.

SPEAKER_08 43:26

It could be. We know that, or we can assume that the traitors at some point will be at the ice show.

SPEAKER_12 43:37

Or what if they're in the ice show? That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_08 43:39

What if they are? We also know that these four men have hired two, as you are calling them, subgoons.

SPEAKER_12 43:51

Mm-hmm. Ice skating subgoons, which are the most deadly sort of subgoons.

SPEAKER_08 43:56

These two have taken the place Of the stars of the show, and they are very experienced ice skaters. They get this job so easily with their skill. We know that Chris and Kelly have also joined the ice show.

SPEAKER_12 44:18

Max talked to the choreographer whose name I did not mention, but you're about to, so I'll just say it. His name's Alvin. I guess he s convinced Alvin they needed to flesh out the ensemble, maybe.

SPEAKER_08 44:31

He did mention that Chris and Kelly added a bit of class, which I completely agree with. They overindulge Alvin with praise on who's they? Who's say what?

SPEAKER_12 44:47

Who's they? You said they overindulge. I don't remember. Chris and Kelly overindulge Alvin.

SPEAKER_08 44:53

They comment on his ice skating, which I'm gonna say is not true because he does not have ice skating legs.

SPEAKER_03 45:02

Elkonja, let's go. You know, when you showed us that turn, the way you came out of it was so beautiful. I mean, you just stopped. Oh my god. You know what, with your body chemistry, it's like, I don't know, it's like gardenias in the nice, thank you.

SPEAKER_13 45:28

Listen, girls, I'm sorry, but you know, you just stopped and you were so graceful.

SPEAKER_03 45:33

Um what is it that you do to make it seem so, so uh what is the word, Chris? So, so organic. Right, right. You know, you could have been a ballet dancer.

SPEAKER_13 45:45

Don't tell anyone, but I was the hobo canoe I am.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

You see? I knew it. You know, Alvin, you're really outrageous.

SPEAKER_08 45:55

They comment on his ensemble. Uh Chris comments on his cologne, which funny story. While I was watching the episode, she says, Oh, I think you're wearing canoe. And I kind of just assumed they made up just some fragrance. It is a real fragrance, and now I want to know what it smells like.

SPEAKER_12 46:18

Oh, imagine if brute, British sterling, and old spice had a baby. Canoe is available online 40 bucks a bottle, and that's exactly $39.99 too much. While all of this is happening at the arena, people just pouncing out on ice skates out of nowhere, killing a Chris getting hired, this guy wearing canoe. Sabrina needs something to do, and so she breaks into Helene's apartment. Why? Remember, there's still conflicting theories about why they disappeared. Did they decide to make it official and run off? We need some clues. Sabrina breaks into Helene's apartment and Nancy Drews the following. She finds asthma medications, which by the way, these asthma meds have had more screen time than David Doyle thus far. All Helene's clothing on hangers, her makeup, her personal belongings, boom. This points to their disappearance having nothing to do with the runaway Tristan romance. Could someone indeed have kidnapped them? But but why? Sabrina does not have much time to ponder the complexities of this because the goons, having successfully kidnapped the real security guard from the arena, well Gorilla Goon is there too hiding because he came to fetch Helene's meds. He subdues Sabrina, she gets a big chomp on his hand in, and that'll come into play later, and he escapes with his identity, still a secret, and a bottle of asthma pills. And uh what who what why? Who motives now we have three kidnapping victims, and we don't know why. Sabrina, through a series of misadventures, does happen to see he makes his getaway and a large blue luxury car, which is going to be the connecting device of it all in the next episode. Isn't it, Colby?

SPEAKER_09 48:11

It might show up again with a new issue.

SPEAKER_12 48:17

Back at the arena, it's now time to rehearse the new number with all the cast. They have Boris and Natasha. What are their names? Ingrid and I was gonna say Olga. Aloysious, what are their names?

SPEAKER_08 48:33

What are their names?

SPEAKER_12 48:34

The major goons and subgoons are not talking very much, and when they do, they sound like Boris and Natasha.

SPEAKER_08 48:40

I remember it's Olga and Louisi.

SPEAKER_12 48:44

I got confused with Inga Swenson, who played Gretchen Krauss on Benson. At any rate, it is a big American red, white, and blue number because the bicentennials fresh in our hearts. It's flags of go-go. It's like Betsy Ross and Ben Franklin had a baby, and that baby's name was I show. That's what we're seeing, everyone. Now we meet a prop master, whole new character halfway through this episode, Iggy. Iggy is played by Jim Backus of Gilligan's Island Fame, and everyone stops screaming. Colby's gonna get to that. And Iggy, the Props Master, is working on the muskets, which we know because it's a salute to America. Guns are necessary. These prop muskets are troublesome because they're not firing their little American flags properly. Yep. You heard me. Just like Bugs Bunny cartoons when Elmer Fudd would pull his shotgun and a little flag would come out that says boom. It's exactly like that, but an American flag. And I can't believe how many Looney Tunes references I'm working in this week. The skaters need their prop muskets to twirl properly and shoot up little red American flags because that's what this country fought for.

SPEAKER_10 50:01

The lesbian wrote America the Beautiful.

SPEAKER_12 50:04

And Iggy is hard at work in the maintenance area. I'm just thankful we get to see another area in the arena and he wasn't working in the training and locker room. We don't know why. But much like the other kidnapping victims, it's decided off-screen Iggy has to go, and he's chloroformed right into a three-hour tour. It will take but a small bottle of chloroform to overcome the missing skaters, who were replaced by four new skaters, a missing security guard, now replaced with the goon who was in the Jimmy Carter mask, a missing prop master, Iggy, on his way to Gilligan's Island, now replaced by the Richard Nixon mask goon. Colby, could you give us a little more info on Jim Backus? I do believe he was born in the year 1913, the same year as my beloved maternal grandmother.

SPEAKER_08 51:01

You are correct. He is also from Cleveland, Ohio. Chris mentioned his Gilligan's Islands uh credits. He played Thurston Howell III. Jim has done film, TV, radio, and voice acting. He is remembered for playing James Dean's father in Rebel Without a Cause. Remembered from Pete's Dragon and the voice of Mr. Magoo.

SPEAKER_12 51:29

He was also in a Pluto cartoon. He voiced Milton in the 1951 Pluto cartoon Plutopia. And he was also in the 1972 live-action Disney film. Now you see him. Now you don't. And that movie starred.

SPEAKER_10 51:48

Oh my god, I'm so good at this.

SPEAKER_12 51:50

Kurt Russell. Did I know that off the top of my head? Yes, I did.

SPEAKER_08 51:55

Yeah, I believe that you did. Here's another spelling connection. He was on The Love Boat and appeared in other TV shows such as I Dream of Genie and Fantasy Island and Chips. But now we're going to talk about the other prop master.

SPEAKER_12 52:14

Oh, the goon. Yes. The major goon who was wearing the Richard Nixon mask.

SPEAKER_08 52:21

His name is Lee Delano, born in 1931 and passed in 2017. Also born in New York. Lee has over 60 credits on screen in film and television. He has appeared in the original Star Trek, the TV series for Mission Impossible, and the TV series for Planet of the Apes. He was in Rhoda, Policewoman, Scarecrow and Mrs. King, The Dukes of Hazard, and we will see him in other Charlie's Angels episodes. No way. Uh-huh. He is also in a favorite movie of mine, The Bird Cage. And he is also in Splash with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks. Interesting little tidbit of information. He founded his own acting school with business partner Jack Donner. Their students would include Angels Connection, Craig T. Nelson, also actor Don Johnson, and Barry Livinson, director of Rainman.

SPEAKER_12 53:23

Do you know what his character's name was in the TV series Planet of the Apes?

SPEAKER_08 53:28

I sure do not.

SPEAKER_12 53:30

His name, I'm not even kidding. He was in one episode. His character's name, Officer Gorilla. If he had been in the gorilla mask too, I would have to turn off this podcast and take straight to the couch. I wish my name were Officer Gorilla. Forget whatever it was I said before. I want to be named Officer Gorilla. The other two major henchmen, where are Gorilla and Henry Kissinger? They're the docks administering the asthma meds. Now, we cut back to the new prop master major goon, and he gets to work doing what? Well, we see that he is taking some of those prop muskets for the big new Americana number, and he's rigging them not to fire little American flags, but real bullets. Real bullets, Colby. No bullets weft.

SPEAKER_15 54:27

Well, what do you know? No more bullets. No more bullets? Hey, laughing boy! No more bullets. No more bullets? Here, let me see that sling.

unknown 54:40

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Well, what do you know? One bullet whiffed.

SPEAKER_15 54:45

One bullet whiffed! Hey, laughing boy! There was I know, I know!

SPEAKER_12 54:53

Yet another Looney Tunes. Oh my god, listen, all I know is that cannot possibly be OSHA compliant, even in the 70s when we had saccharin flying around like PES and asbestos and our hairdryers and people just basting themselves in iodine and motor oil to lie in the sun. But he is hard at work on rigging those muskets, and as the episode ends, I leave you with Well, that's a lie, because I have one more thing to say. As this episode ends, I semi-leave you with three big questions.

SPEAKER_10 55:28

I guess the trouble is I haven't asked you the three big questions, I don't even never ask you the three big questions.

SPEAKER_03 55:33

Anyhow, too old for the three big questions.

SPEAKER_12 55:39

Why are these four main major goons doing all of this and where are they from? What's their plan? Question two. Who are the targets of these doctored up muskets? And how lucky are they? The ice show happened to be rehearsing a new number with guns. I mean, coincidence? Third question. Who is running the show? Who who is the what is that, Colby? Like the brains behind the scene. Who is the orchestrating this whole thing? We have four, now six goons working for someone, I'm assuming. So who is in charge and why, Colby? Why, why, why, why? And ending this episode, I shall now end for real real with a new feature I'm just bringing on Colby this evening. Episode Superlatives. We should come up with a theme for that. Colby, you're a singer, or so you say, I've never heard it, you just purport to be. Come up with a really quick, let's have a theme song. Episode Superlatives is the title. Go.

SPEAKER_01 56:48

Or if you don't toss that shot back, I'm gonna throw you up on the bar and make you sing the theme song from Endless Love.

SPEAKER_08 56:54

Okay. Charlies Angels, episodes of Perlatives, Charlies Angels, Episodes of Perlatives.

SPEAKER_12 57:04

Uh. Colby, that was really good in your little vibrato at the end.

SPEAKER_09 57:09

Thanks.

SPEAKER_12 57:10

You sing so high. When you were singing, bats just flew right into my office window, just smackity smack.

SPEAKER_09 57:17

You sure they weren't recorded.

SPEAKER_12 57:19

I can't talk about what's going on in my yard, nor have you given me time in the past two episodes. Best dressed. Kate checks in for all the reasons. Most likely to not get pregnant. Helene, because of those thermal skater tights. Episode MVP, which Colby and I have actually talked about doing, but we never have. This episode the asthma medication. Most scenery chewed. Phil Silver's asthmax. And lastly, I think this along with MVP needs to always be an episode superlative. Person I'd like to date? Billy, the future star Broadway's Flowers for Algernaut, because I love me some big beefy men who look like they have been smacked in the face with a board.

SPEAKER_08 58:08

Maybe not a board, but uh a shovel in the near future.

SPEAKER_12 58:13

Or when Sideshow Bob always steps on the rakes.

SPEAKER_08 58:16

Before we end this episode, we have another guest star alert. Ice skaters, Inga Schilling, playing Olga. She was born in Germany in 1933. Inga was trained as a ballerina and classical dancer, and at the elderly age of 19, took up ice skating. Inga was a part of a world championship ice skating duo. She skated in the Vienna Ice Show in Moscow and became so well known that she graced the cover of Promenade magazine and appeared in several European films. She and her husband moved to the U.S. in 1962 and joined Shipstods Johnson's Ice Follies, later moved to Los Angeles in 1968. She also appeared as a skater in three episodes of the TV series Gypsy. Tom Lawler, who plays Louisi, Tom and Inga would later begin skating together in 1974, and the duo would go on to compete in the World Professional Championship in Spain in 1975, where the duo won the bronze medal. Lawler also appeared in other productions, the TV series Bullman and the TV series Nightstand. Thank you everyone for joining our second episode of season two, the first part of Angels on Ice. We appreciate you for joining us, and you can follow us, of course, on our Instagram profile and Facebook. Our Patreon is free to join. That is it for this episode. Say goodbye, Angels.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:00

Goodbye, Angels. Thank you, everyone. We're going to break down part two next week, and I can't wait.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:07

Bye, Angels.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:13

That successfully wraps up another mission. Good morning, Charlie is produced by Chris Berryman and me, Colby Smith.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

Editing provided by the Canadian Crit!

SPEAKER_08 1:00:25

Be sure to follow us wherever you get your podcasts, and click subscribe so you never miss a call from Charlie. Drop a review while you're there, because we love hearing from our angels in the field. Want more undercover fun? Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for extras, and see even more top secret content on our Patreon. A special thank you to Laurel and Kevin, our Charlie's Inner Circle subscribers. Don't hang up that phone, Angels, because we will be back.