SPEAKER_12 0:03

What's up, Angels? While our podcast is suitable for all ages, keep in mind that these episodes were produced in a different era and may include scenes of danger, crime, or themes some listeners may find sensitive or outdated. When doing our rewatch, we do our very best to discuss everything with care, context, and compassion. And always with a love for the show and respect for our listeners.

SPEAKER_07 0:37

I want to thank you for being so kind and courteous. I'm gonna be sure and talk about you to my cousin Irmandine now.

SPEAKER_09 0:43

And coming up.

SPEAKER_06 0:44

No, no, no. Wait a minute. No, no, I'm not gonna be a beauty contestant.

SPEAKER_12 0:48

Colby, it's all I've been thinking about. I'll I'm just so stressed out. And while I'm busy having a nervous breakdown somewhere, my brain throws up into the front of my brain. Sabrina Kelly and Sabrina Kelly and Kiss. Yeah. I can't take much more. All right, here we go. The problem is that she is so perfect. And with me, as always, is Hi everybody.

SPEAKER_09 1:49

It is your other host, Colby Smith.

SPEAKER_11 1:51

We'll let her in here.

SPEAKER_09 1:53

A fun, kind of lighthearted episode with you this week. I didn't feel lighthearted, but that's why I'm probably dead inside.

SPEAKER_12 2:00

I know.

SPEAKER_09 2:00

You like palpitations?

unknown 2:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_12 2:03

Does everyone hear it started right away? We weren't 20 seconds in. Colby has on the cutest vintage-looking booberry shirt, and it matches his little blue eyes, his startling, soul-stealing ginger blue eyes. You look very cute, Colby.

SPEAKER_09 2:20

It is one of my favorite shirts. I wear it all the time. It is so comfortable. Thank you, Justin, my brother, for this lovely Christmas gift. It is a regular staple in my wardrobe.

SPEAKER_12 2:34

Your brother, Justin. Now wait, okay. The past couple of weeks, with my encouragement, we've blathered on way too much about your pumpkins, but I've been genuinely interested. And I also noticed for the Monday preview and then the Friday dossier for our paid Patreon members, I've been blathering on way too much. I thought not only should we each give a little update about ourselves, but remember how I asked you to have your phone up and your timer ready?

SPEAKER_09 3:08

You did, yes.

SPEAKER_12 3:09

Okay. All right, set your timer for 10 seconds, and we're gonna ask each other questions about updates and how the other is doing, and we only have 10 seconds to answer, and that's gonna keep us from blathering.

SPEAKER_09 3:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 3:24

Just do it. It's gonna be great. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_09 3:27

So 10 seconds at a time for each of us.

SPEAKER_12 3:29

Alright, I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna ask you a question, and then I'm gonna hit the timer. And when the 10 seconds are up, you have to stop.

SPEAKER_09 3:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 3:41

Are you ready?

SPEAKER_09 3:43

Sure.

SPEAKER_12 3:44

Kobe, you mentioned your brother Justin. Where does he fall into the line of kids and where does he live?

SPEAKER_09 3:54

Justin is the middle child of three boys. He lives in Denver, Colorado with his wife and daughters.

SPEAKER_12 4:00

Okay, stop. Your turn.

SPEAKER_09 4:02

Hi, Chris. How was your once beautiful garden?

SPEAKER_12 4:06

There's a new plague in town, and its name is Nats. I have an official fifth plague now. Thank you for asking.

SPEAKER_09 4:15

You're quite welcome.

SPEAKER_12 4:16

Was I under 10 seconds?

SPEAKER_09 4:18

Yes, you're right at eight seconds.

SPEAKER_12 4:20

Okay, your next question.

SPEAKER_09 4:24

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_12 4:25

What do your brothers think about the podcast? Go.

SPEAKER_09 4:29

I have only told one brother, Justin, that I have a podcast who did not offer an opinion.

SPEAKER_12 4:37

Why do you think that is? Oh, done. Who cares why that is? We'll never know, will we?

SPEAKER_09 4:44

We sure won't.

SPEAKER_12 4:45

The riddle of the Sphinx. We're gonna do one more round. Wait, no, you do one more question for me. So we've had two full rounds. I'm gonna turn my timer off because this is it.

SPEAKER_09 4:57

Tell me something you were most looking forward to in the next three, four months.

SPEAKER_12 5:02

I'm hoping that at some point in the next three or four months I will get at least seven hours of sleep one night done.

SPEAKER_09 5:09

Or that was like seven seconds.

SPEAKER_12 5:12

It's called Being Prepared at All Times. Well, this was delightful. Everyone, we're all caught up, and we're only four minutes into the podcast. I'm thrilled about today's assignment because it's just one episode. It's not a two-parter. And I've been so confused editing the part one of this and part two of that, and then parts one and two combined into one pod. It's so exciting to say we're going to talk about season two, episode five, and only episode five, and there is only one part to episode five, and the name of it is Pretty Angels All in a Row.

SPEAKER_09 5:49

Here is your case briefing. Contestants of the Miss Chrysanthemum Festival pageant in Freebron, Iowa are being tormented. This torment is causing the contestants to drop out. The host of the pageant, Ben Paul, has come to ask the Townsend agency for help in fear that if these strange occurrences keep happening, the pageant will be canceled and sully the reputation of Miss Chrysanthemum.

SPEAKER_12 6:15

Here's your super secret intel based on notes Colby has and notes I made completely separately. Colby, look how many pieces of paper I have. I have two computer screens, my phone, three pieces of paper. So this is going to be like a descent into madness. This is going to be like that movie where they spelunked down into a cave and there were those albino vampires. I don't remember its name, but that's what this is. Well that that tracks. Now if you're well does everyone just can we please. I have some things to say because it's your super secret intel. This episode was produced by familiar names, Edward Lasco and Shelly Hall. This was written and directed by John D. F. Black, who is often the writer and fill in the blank. He was the writer and producer of the 1974 ABC's Kathy Lee Crosby's Wonder Woman. Did you know that, Colby?

SPEAKER_09 7:14

I did know that.

SPEAKER_12 7:15

Do you think maybe you were gonna bring it up at any point in our podcast? And that also had Ricardo Monteled on as the villain. And we've referenced Fantasy Island so much when it comes to guest stars. Location Alert. The Chrysanthemum's pageant. I'm just letting Colby get it all out of his system. Is the Dunes Inn, which is in LA. As a matter of fact, it's still there. It is still an active hotal or a modal. I don't know where it falls into, but they were never, ever, ever in Iowa. And the name of the town is not even the real, it's not even a real town.

SPEAKER_09 8:01

A real place in Iowa? Yeah, I didn't think so.

SPEAKER_12 8:02

They made it up. I think we need to ponder the complexities of that by going on ahead and taking a quick break, letting everybody digest what we've shared so far. So hold on, angels, we'll be back right after this commercial break.

SPEAKER_11 8:22

Hey, Ultra Bright Toothpaste wants to proposition you.

SPEAKER_06 8:27

Right here? In front of Mona Lisa? Here's the proposition. After using one tube of Ultra Bright, look in the mirror. If you had yellowing stains, you should see wider-like teeth. Ultrabright's rousing taste and wider-looking teeth. Now that's the best proposition I've had all year.

SPEAKER_11 8:51

Before they were angels, Jill, Kelly, and Chris were on shows like Harry O, Ironshide, and Switch. But I took them away from all that. So stay tuned for more Before They Were Angels right here on TV Live.

SPEAKER_12 9:06

Welcome back. That was a delightful break. Holby, take it away.

SPEAKER_09 9:11

Two contestants, Miss Texas and Miss Sierra Leone, are turning in for the evening and bid each other goodnight while an unknown man creeps into the hotel room of the young woman from Sierra Leone. The man releases a tarantula from a container onto the hotel bed. When the phone rings, the young woman rushes out of the bathroom to answer, but is terrified and screams at the sight of the large furry beast. Mr. Paul.

SPEAKER_12 9:40

I have to interrupt. Wouldn't that scare you? I'm interrupting.

SPEAKER_09 9:44

I think I would be startled, but I'm I know that tarantulas aren't dangerous. Uh so I think I'd be more surprised than scared.

SPEAKER_12 9:57

One, no, you know how I feel about interrupting. And two, I could tell that to Peter Brady, who had a tarantula on his chest for the three-part Hawaii episode. We also referenced early on in season two. Remember how during our breakdown of Angels on Ice, I revealed I cannot watch professional ice skaters because I have an unnatural fear of falling and chipping a tooth, and that's what I'm afraid they're gonna do. And then that tooth will just either be stuck in my lip or just jutting out of a new hole it's made in some part of my face around my lips. My other unnatural fear is spiders. I can't take it. I can't take it. Only now in my advanced old age have I been able to rescue maybe a teeny tiny house spider with a cup and a piece of paper and lots of screaming as I run for it to but no, mm-mm, no, I can't look at a spider. I don't want to hold a spider. I I I I can't take it. If I had been Miss Sierra Leone, which in fact I was, she is so beautiful too. And I came out of my hotel room and saw a Peter Brady tarantula on my bed spread, I would have left the contest as well. Thank you for letting me interrupt.

SPEAKER_09 11:13

You're more than welcome. The reasons that Chris scream inside of his home are many and varied.

SPEAKER_12 11:20

Tooth chipping, ice skating, big spiders. Back to the debrief.

SPEAKER_09 11:25

Mr. Paul, the host of the pageant, flies in from Iowa to plead for the agency's help. The host tries to convey the gravity of the situation and the grandness of the pageant, but after quoting Barbara, To quote Barbara, nobody, no, nobody should reign on our parade.

SPEAKER_08 11:46

Well, we will discuss it, Mr. Paul.

SPEAKER_09 11:49

Bosley jumps to his feet in an effort to move the meeting along and the client out of the door. While the team makes light of the case, Charlie mentions the case has already been taken and they should get their act together. The angels flip coins to determine which two will go undercover as contestants. The heads of fate decide that Chris and Kelly are the new chrysanthemum ladies.

SPEAKER_12 12:15

What do you mean he quoted Barbara? Are you gonna tell us that quote?

SPEAKER_04 12:19

He said, I simply gotta watch my hotel!

SPEAKER_09 12:51

This is the first time there has ever been a client in the office with a case that Bosley and the Angels have kind of made light of.

SPEAKER_12 13:13

Yeah, because he's acting a fool. One spider, even for me, on a bed spread, and he's acting like the Miss Chrysanthemum pageant is Miss Solar System. It is him with Jane Judson.

SPEAKER_04 13:32

Won't you fly home, Bill Spaceway? Won't you fly home? I'll push you home before. I'll push those buttons on it while you relax. I know I've got you wrong.

SPEAKER_12 13:48

I'm gonna talk about Kate Jackson has on a pink striped shirt and high-waisted brown slacks and some frosted pink lipstick, and no one can touch her. That's all she has on. A blouse, slacks, lipstick.

SPEAKER_09 14:05

Uh, the angels flip a coin, and it is determined that Chris and Kelly will be in the pageant. Kelly has an interview for the pageant and charms the judges with somewhat silly and somewhat sincere answers about brain surgery, civic duty, and dancing, which really excites last year's winner of the pageant and current judge, a somewhat eccentric German woman. Chris joins the other contestants while they rehearse a musical number, while feet away, Bosley and Sabrina set up their cover as the media. Ben Paul desperately wants to be of service and is given an assignment in an attempt to keep him out of the way and likely to keep him from blowing everyone's cover.

SPEAKER_07 14:54

Okay, here's your assignment. Now, from now on, you'll be known as Big X. From this point on, big eggs.

SPEAKER_08 15:02

You just go about the pension routine normally unless one of us gives you the code word bojist. Bogest, you got that? Boj. If you hear that, you go to the phone. You call information. Now the operator that answers you, you ask her for the service repayment number.

SPEAKER_07 15:18

That operator will be one of our people. Don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_09 15:24

Speaking of Kate Jackson again, the suit that she is wearing looks almost identical to the periwinkle suit from the previous episode, Angel's Eyes.

SPEAKER_12 15:35

I want to talk a little bit about a guest star alert, Jack Knight, who plays pageant director, maybe partial owner. Ben Paul, spelt P-A-W-L is the character's name. Ben Paul, B.T. Dubbs, has decided the perfect place to rehearse the musical numbers is outside. I guess in Iowa, they don't have a hot, hot heat and lots of humidity, but they are poolside, which is the perfect place to have your piano live and breathe and stay in too.

SPEAKER_09 16:09

Wood piano.

SPEAKER_12 16:11

Mm-hmm. They are gathered around that. Wooden piano. I mean, well, what else do they make pianos out of, Colby?

SPEAKER_09 16:18

Oh, I thought like fiberglass?

SPEAKER_12 16:20

They don't really make them out of bricks.

SPEAKER_09 16:22

There are clear pianos.

SPEAKER_12 16:24

That's loose, so I'll give you that. There are wood for site. Can you name a third material? Perhaps shopping bags from Piggly Wiggly, twisty ties, old bleachers. Oh, I imagine keyboards are plastic. I'm going to lose my mind. This actor, Jack Knight, actually performs his portions of the horrifyingly catchy pageant songs Hi There Hello and Chris Anthony on Festival Girls. These songs were written specifically, I feel like there's not even a need to say that, for the episode. The lyrics were by the director and writer John D. F. Black. And the music was by Edward Lasco. He has over 70 film credits, TV credits, Rosemary's Baby, LA Confidential, lots of things we enjoy talking about. I yeeted out one in particular for Colby. He was in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And before Colby can geek out, I want to say one more thing about this scene. They've moved to this house that's been donated for the pageant, and they're practicing around the pool in bathing suits. Because why wouldn't you practice your songs around the pool? Nothing screams hi, hello, there in Chrysanthemum festival girls like some bikinis and sensible wedges like Chris is wearing. Bosley immediately points out they're just gonna use their real names. Sure, Bosley. Because it's 1977. Star Wars erupted in March, and left is right is up is down, use your real names.

SPEAKER_09 18:06

The two men who bugged the hotel room. Do you see what I did there? I put a spider on the bed.

SPEAKER_12 18:17

Listen to how dickle you've turned red as a beat. Wait, a spider? No. No. This is it. This is when I have to ferrafauc myself right out of this series. A spider is not a bug.

SPEAKER_09 18:33

It is anyway.

SPEAKER_12 18:35

Where did you go to school?

SPEAKER_09 18:37

Where did you go to school?

SPEAKER_12 18:39

Oh, the team mascot was a Bob Taylor.

SPEAKER_06 18:43

I said, Where did you go to school?

SPEAKER_09 18:45

These two men are spying on all of the girls singing when we meet Billy Jolene, who is Miss Texas, Debbie from London, who does not have a last name, Grace from California. This is Bobby Mitchell, who we previously met in terror on Ward 1. Holly from New York, which made me scream because Holly is Friday the 13th, alumni Dana Kimmel. And little old Chris from Macon, Georgia, and she is laying it down thick with that accent.

SPEAKER_14 19:20

And one of our late entrants that I haven't even met yet. And who are you?

SPEAKER_10 19:24

Hi, I'm Chris, and I'm from Macon, Georgia.

SPEAKER_14 19:27

How far is that from planes, Chris?

SPEAKER_10 19:29

Oh gosh, I don't really know. This is the first time I've ever been outside of Macon. This is really exciting.

SPEAKER_09 19:35

Chris then enters her hotel room and a shot is fired into the room, breaking the vase on the table feet away. Chris sees two men scurry off the rooftop. Chris is visibly shaken by the shot. The antics have already started. Are the girls just being scared or are they really in danger? The team is unsure, but the fact that the shooters did not fire again or wait to see if they had missed suggests that these are scare tactics. The judges and pageant runners bicker about money and the media and have decided the show must go on, and that with so few contestants left, the story will now be that the televised portion is only for the finalists of the pageant. We get more silliness from last year's winner who still seems to be starry-eyed about the pageant she won. Now rehearsals are underway on stage for blocking when one of the unknown men cut a rigging sandbag right overhead of the girls, causing a panic. Bosley and Sabrina race to find the culprits. The man, however, has made it seem as if he's hidden in a room that Bosley and Sabrina discover is full of apparently free roaming pigeons. These pigeons are absolutely not being thrown by a production assistant at the actor from right behind the door front.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

Bosley! What are you doing with Chris's pigeons? Christmas Pigeon. Woo! Why were they skulking in that closet? They were not skulking, Mosley! Pigeons can't skulk! Well, these can. They were skulking in there, they are skulking pigeons.

SPEAKER_09 21:41

We then hear an exchange between the man who just cut the rigging and the judge, Mr. Dearborn. Dearborn is asked if he agrees to whatever this proposition is that he was given and to collect his payment in the men's room. And oh, if Chris had a Also, if you're receiving a phone call about some sort of proposition related to the event that the other people in charge of the event like are in the same room with you while you're having this conversation, I feel like maybe I would say I'm gonna take this call in another room, or I would have them call some other phone. Uh, it seems not extremely well planned to accept your bribe over the phone for the thing that is currently uh being maybe sabotaged. If I were one of the other judges, I think my ears might have perked up. The two men, better known as goons, pull up and moments later enter an elevator with the female judge, Millicent Farber. And after being propositioned, she proceeds to beat the hell out of these men and this elevator. What is she?

SPEAKER_12 23:05

I also What go ahead, go ahead. I'm just confused about why she's being you make it sound like she's being propositioned, naughty, propositioned.

SPEAKER_09 23:14

Oh, naughty. We don't know what they've asked her. It does cut back to her acknowledging the two men saying that she's absolutely not gonna do whatever it is that they've asked her. And then they sort of like put their hands on her and she starts swinging.

SPEAKER_12 23:35

Let's talk about one of these judges. Patricia Barry is Millicent. She was already a seasoned soap opera actress when she made this appearance. There's a little John Forsyth connection because she starred opposite him in Anne Margaret's kitten with a whip in 1965. If you've ever heard that expression, kitten with a whip. Have you ever heard that, Colby?

SPEAKER_09 23:57

That's where it's from Will and Grace. Yes, I've heard that expression.

SPEAKER_12 24:01

Okay. Did you know she was on the Alfred Hitchcock Hour twice?

SPEAKER_09 24:06

I did know that. And in two episodes of The Twilight Zone.

SPEAKER_12 24:11

Okay, who is doing this, you or me? She was in the Alfred Hitchcock Hour in 1963 and 1965. She, yes, Twilight Zone, but also Twilight Zone, the movie in 1983. And she was in Dallas. There are gonna be tons of Dallas connections here. She was in one episode in 1981. She has over 130 credits in film and TV, and we can't possibly go through them all. But all the fun things we love to talk about. She was an early member and former president of Women in Film, a nonprofit agency advocating for women working in the TV industry. She was actually president of Women in Film when she was filming this particular episode. You know, one roundabout Dallas connection is she had a guest star appearance on the Donna Reed show, and Donna Reed went on to replace Barbara Bell Geddes as Miss Ellie for one episode in Dallas. That's what lives in my brain. You're welcome. But I'm wondering, Colby, what Mr. Paul informs the angels about.

SPEAKER_09 25:18

Well, why don't we find out?

SPEAKER_12 25:20

I would love to.

SPEAKER_09 25:21

Mr. Paul informs the angels that Miss Farber was abducted, but since this doesn't fit the pattern of what has been happening, the team is unsure. The team is still in the dark about what might really be going on, and Bree decides to cover the new judge that is replacing Millicent. Kelly and Chris will keep an eye on things backstage, and Bosley starts believing that Chris and Kelly both actually want to win this pageant as they scurry off to uh rehearse their talent and their interview.

SPEAKER_08 26:00

You know, they really do want to win.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

It uh it looks that way.

SPEAKER_09 26:08

The abducted and tied up Millicent is adamant that she will not be selling her vote. And then she tries to overhear the muffled conversation between the goons about the new judge Hazel Spaulding and calling someone named CJ. While this is happening, like right before when they were in the elevator, and now this exchange at this warehouse, these two goons remind me so much of the Gorch brothers. They are a um a vampire duo from Buffy the Vampire Slayer in an episode of Buffy that is also kind of humorous. If anyone else is a Buffy fan, please tell me whether or not you agree or see the similarities between these two goons and those vampire brothers in the episode Bad Eggs. The Who, What, and a huh?

SPEAKER_12 27:12

I understood maybe five words of that sentence.

SPEAKER_09 27:16

You don't need to understand it because you didn't watch Buffy.

SPEAKER_12 27:19

I wasn't even listening, actually.

SPEAKER_09 27:20

The goons meet with Hazel at the airport. This is the first time that we get a very good look at the men who are in 10-gallon hats and cowboy boots, and the goons offer her two grand for her votes, or else they will inform her husband about the um all-night singing lessons that she's had with the host, Mr. Paul. I was actually kind of shocked when this uh revelation was made. I wasn't really sure um what Mr. Paul liked. Um, but you know what? Mr. Paul might like everything.

SPEAKER_12 28:02

Who's Hazel? Why is she why is she here? Hazel is replacing Millicent as the judge because she's missing and no one seems concerned, and so they went on ahead and called in a substitute judge.

SPEAKER_09 28:15

Correct. Miss Hazel is a former judge of previous Miss Chrysanthemum pageants. Well, Miss Hazel agrees to the two grand, so there is at least one vote that is paid for. While this is happening, Angel Sabrina is spying on this little conversation, and Sabrina puts herself in the trunk of the goons car. And I am not necessarily sure why, because this exchange is happening at the airport, and I would have assumed that Sabrina drove to the airport, and it would seem like a safer idea to tail them and maybe not put yourself in their trunk.

SPEAKER_12 29:09

No, it makes total sense to me. How do you think I got here tonight? Let's talk about these goons. I'm looking at about 45 different pieces of paper while I give you the goon breakdown, so let's see how well I can multitask, which we all know is a made-up thing. Let's start with Hubie. Hubi is played by actor Richard Kelton. Richard Kelton died the year after this aired. He was filming the television miniseries Centennial. He was in his dressing room, and he was just 35 years old. This was his second day of filming Centennial, and he died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his dressing room. Universal Studios was fined. Get ready, Colby.

SPEAKER_09 30:06

Nothing.

SPEAKER_12 30:07

They were fined at $720, which is the equivalent of $4,000 today.

SPEAKER_09 30:14

Insane.

SPEAKER_12 30:16

And told to uh, you know, fix your ventilation, do better.

SPEAKER_09 30:21

I hope they gave something to his wife and child.

SPEAKER_12 30:24

There was a there was a follow-up suit. He has a Dallas connection of one episode. He was on TV, on the big screen, on stage. His first credit involves playing Nancy's boyfriend in the film adaptation of Cold Blood. He appeared in a lot of the things we love. Let's move on to the other goon. He's the dark-haired one. Burton Gilliam played Goon Olmer. He's been in tons of things. Weird Science, Back to the Future Part 3, Imama's Family, The Fall Guy, Little Lee Major's connection, hold on to that. How the West was won. And this seems like something Colby knows exactly what it is and loves it. The Terror Within Part 2. Do you know what that is?

SPEAKER_09 31:12

The Terror Within, the first movie is actually very enjoyable.

SPEAKER_12 31:15

If I want to see the Terror Within, I just go to sleep. And that's when the night terrors just roll right out. Parts one, two, and three. There's not a Dallas the Show connection, but Burton Gilliam was born in Dallas and was a Dallas firefighter before obtaining a bit part in Paper Moon, which turned him toward acting. Paper Moon starred Ryan O'Neill. He has a Ryan O'Neill and a Lee Majors connection.

SPEAKER_09 31:55

Another little interesting tidbit. Oh Lord. Burton actually met Madeline Kahn on the set of Paper Moon, and she sort of took a shine to him at j just like um Mel Brooks did. But she told him, she said, you know what? I have no doubt that you and I are gonna work together again in the future. And three months later, they are both cast in blazing saddles.

SPEAKER_16 32:27

I'm tired. Tired of playing the game. In the crying chain. I just gone high.

SPEAKER_12 32:41

Colby, before you get us back to the debrief, speaking of Madeline Kahn, I have something to say that has absolutely no connection to her. You mentioned one of the judges who was paid off first thing, who, again, answered the phone poorly, in your opinion, and you're not over it yet. You're red as a beat. Cy Dearborn was played by Bill McIntyre, and I want to bring him up. Because he was on Scarecrow and Mrs. King one episode, their very first season, and he was a recurring character in five episodes of Dallas. He played Billy Joe Bates. Colby has to have a relative named Umer or Billy Joel. Billy Joel. I've had Billy Joel. Billy Joel. I wonder how he is. Sometimes I think about Billy Joel. Bill McIntyre was in the next to the last season of Dallas, and he was part of an investigatory committee looking into UN oil.

SPEAKER_09 33:38

There you go. Fascinating.

SPEAKER_12 33:40

Thought so.

SPEAKER_09 33:41

The pageant has started, and our first contestant is Chris, who looks really lovely in her gown. Chris and Miss California, who does not know the words to this opening number, are answering their interview questions as we cut to Sabrina and the trunk, listening to the phone call with the unknown CJ. We learn that CJ is the boss who has hired these men to ensure that his daughter is the winner of the pageant. There is a very large portrait, excuse me, a large, unfortunate portrait of a little girl on a horse with a cowboy hat and boots on. The scene then transitions to Miss Texas singing Streets of Laredo. And if CJ's accent, the goon's clothing, and the portrait were not all heavy-handed enough to clue the viewer in, on which contestant all these shenanigans are over, then I don't know what else they can do. The goons make it back to the warehouse where they are keeping Millicent, and Goon Hubie knows there is too much weight in the trunk, and Sabrina is busted. The goons try to concoct a plan to get money in exchange for the now two women they have. Sabrina instructs the men to contact Bosley and tell him the term bow jest. Who knew this would come in handy when they were trying to get rid of Mr. Paul? This is so that Bosley would know Sabrina is okay and to pay the ransom. We now get to witness Chris and Kelly's talents. Chris with her somewhat humorous magic show and Kelly with what kind of feels like improvisational dancing. It does not seem choreographed, but the Angels, while of course they are doing their talent, they are under a spotlight. But every few seconds we see Bosley, who um is supposed to be at the foot of this stage recording it on a camera. But he is in the brightest lit room, which leads me to believe that um maybe these two things are not happening at the same time. And Bosley is maybe reacting to nothing. Uh the goons arrive as the results are being announced. And when Bosley learns that Sabrina is kidnapped, he jumps into action shouting, Bo jest, and all hell breaks loose. Chris and Kelly pounce on the goons and wrestle them into submission. The audience um laugh this off, even though Bosley is holding these men at gunpoint. A gun in both hands. But um, hey, baby, you know, it's all just a show. Now Sabrina is begging Millicent to stop trying to help her as she attempts to free their hands. I really, really love this little scene.

SPEAKER_13 37:10

Okay, Mrs. Farmer. I got my second win. And we're gonna try it again. Holly, this time, please don't help me. Oh, I love trying. No, don't funny.

SPEAKER_09 37:26

Her irritation is uh quickly over because Bosley and the Angels have found them at the warehouse.

SPEAKER_12 37:34

Because they're tied up, right? They are tied up, yes. They're tied up, so they're trying to help each other scoochy scooch and untie, untie, but to no avail.

SPEAKER_09 37:44

We learned that Billy Jolene, Miss Texas, was crowned the winner and then was subsequently disqualified because the goons confessed to everything and explained that Billy Jolene's father orchestrated her win. The new winner is Holly, Miss New York.

SPEAKER_12 38:05

Now, one of the actresses has an agent named Fred. He is Grace Cooley's agent. And he, by the way, uh Grace Cooley, when they're around the piano, looks square right into the camera. Square into the camera, and they left it in. He's played by Steve Franken, who has one of those I know him from everywhere faces. I I didn't pull out a bunch of stuff because he's been in everything, everything, everything. But here are some highlights, and he only had one scene. But you know you know him. He's been in some recent faves of mine, like The Comeback, King of Queens, Seinfeld, Sisters, and Colby, two episodes of Freddy's Nightmares.

SPEAKER_09 38:51

Oh, how about that? Yeah, although I kind of feel bad for him because Freddie's Nightmares is just dreadful.

SPEAKER_12 38:56

But it's a great connection to when that security guard was yeeted like Nancy's mother.

SPEAKER_09 39:02

There are so many big stars in Freddy's Nightmares. It is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_12 39:06

Well, I'm talking about a star by the name of Steve Franken. He was a Disney guy. He was in two episodes of The Magical World of Disney, the ghosts of Buxley Hall in 1980. He was in the movie The North Avenue Irregulars. He was in one episode of Man from Atlantis with Patrick Duffy. There's my Dallas connection. He was in two episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show, playing a love interest of Mary. That's how I first got to know him. And he was in Bewitched seven times, playing six characters. I mentioned the Disney movie North Avenue Irregulars. That has some fun connections to things we've just talked about. One, Cloris Leachman, who played Phyllis on the Mary Tyler Moore show. We just talked about him being on that. It also had Alan Hale in it, who was skipper on Gilligan's Island, and we just talked about Jim Backus as Thirst in Hell and Angels on Ice Parts 1 and 2. And fun fact, everybody, just batting down your hatches and all your irregularities. In the North Avenue Irregulars, a young Malora Hardin was in that. She went on to become super famous as Jan in the office. I thought that was really, really cool. That is really cool. Right. CJ is played by actor Don Starr. He was in V The Final Battle, but I know him from 88 episodes of Dallas. He was Jordan Lee, and he was a member of the Dallas Oil Cartel. He was always at the oil barons ball. And he liked Bobby. Who didn't? Patrick Tuffy, man from Atlantis. Yes, sir. Take me under the sea. Holly, who's Miss New York, the new winner of the pageant, is played by Dana Kimmel, born in 1959 in Texas Arkana. She was only 17 in this episode. That is insane. Right? I mean, that's when I made my acting debut. She's been on both film and TV, Days of Our Lives, Friday the 13th, part three. Didn't you say someone else in here was in Friday the 13th, part three?

SPEAKER_09 41:18

I mentioned her earlier that I was really surprised and happy that she was in this episode because of my love for Friday part three.

SPEAKER_12 41:28

That's what I get for having notes on multiple pieces of paper. Have you ever met Dana Kimmel at a convention and gotten her to sign a thing?

SPEAKER_09 41:37

I have not had the pleasure, but she does do conventions, so maybe one day.

SPEAKER_12 41:42

But in addition to the shows we always talk about Facts of Life, Private Benjamin, we've referenced that, the TV series, Fame, the TV series, TJ Hooker, Heart to Heart, and Dynasty. But a movie she was in, just unforgettable movie from the 80s, Sweet 16.

SPEAKER_09 42:00

It's so good. It is another 80s slasher. Um, but it I think is really, really worth a watch. If anyone else is a horror fan, you love slasher movies, watch Sweet 16. It's very enjoyable.

SPEAKER_12 42:16

Oh, wait, I have no idea what we're talking about. I was thinking 16 Candles with Molly Reynolds. This is totally no one was murdered or stabbed in 16 Candles. Sweet 16 is a slasher film.

SPEAKER_09 42:33

That is correct from 1983.

SPEAKER_12 42:36

So Dana Kimmel was in Friday the 13th, part three.

SPEAKER_09 42:40

And actually, Sweet 16 has another angel's connection. Do you know who her father is in Sweet 16?

SPEAKER_12 42:50

Let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. Don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me, David Doyle.

SPEAKER_09 42:54

No.

SPEAKER_12 42:54

Ryan O'Neill playing himself.

SPEAKER_09 42:57

No. Her father in Sweet 16 is Bo Hopkins, who we will see again in the very near future.

SPEAKER_12 43:05

Well, my stars.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

My stars. And I'll bet you meet a lot of interesting people who.

SPEAKER_09 43:13

Back at the office, Charlie confesses that the judges were instructed not to vote for Chris or Kelly because they were quote unquote professionals hired to round out the number of participants. And I really want to know: are there professional pageant contestants that you would hire? The spurned angels complain to Charlie about having to learn all the words to the songs, to smile until their face ached, the money that they spent on tacky shoes. And Sabrina warns Charlie of his safety.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

I don't think you better walk down any dark alleys. Charlie, you uh you bought yourself some trouble here.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Not half as much as I'd have bought myself if one of you angels had won.

SPEAKER_09 44:07

And this episode concludes.

SPEAKER_12 44:10

Before we turn it over to Colby for what I'm sure will be a fascinating, let's hope brief breakdown of beauty pageants. The audience the the B-roll of the audience in the theater of the well, I guess it's more of an auditorium or convention room in this hotel. They cut away to the exact same audiences. I show in the previous episodes, and my teeth almost fell out of my head. How many times was someone in Friday the 13th part three? I don't know, but I recognized that audience. Colby's gonna take me out once in I mean, take us out. With a few interesting facts about the history of pageants in America, which I like because our Angels on Ice was a very America and Americana with that big red, white, and blue musket hurling thing they did.

SPEAKER_09 45:02

And why do you think that was why do I think it was a celebration of America?

SPEAKER_12 45:09

Yeah, all patriotic and stuff, and red, white, and blue and that that ice capage show.

SPEAKER_09 45:14

I think it was uh the style at the time, was it not?

SPEAKER_12 45:19

I tied an onion to my boat, which was the style at the time. I will allow it because that was clever. Baby steps, everyone. Baby steps, this is how they learn.

SPEAKER_09 45:30

The first modern Miss America pageant was held in 1921 in Atlantic City, New Jersey. The pageant was composed of winners from local newspaper beauty contests called the Intercity Beauty Contest. The winner of the first Miss America pageant was 16-year-old Margaret Gorman from Washington, DC. She was awarded $100, which in today's money would be roughly $1,900. I think specifically it might be closer to $1,860 or something. Uh but I don't know how much pageant winners normally get. More than $2,000. You get $200,000.

SPEAKER_12 46:24

Any year's supply of Anastasia from Beverly Hills.

SPEAKER_09 46:27

The popularity of Miss America on the creation of other pageants. The post-World War II period saw a boom of pageants, and in the 1950s, these included new pageants named Miss World, Miss Universe, and Miss USA, which are now all known as some of the most prestigious pageants to participate in. The pageant winners were now not strictly beauty queens, but also ambassadors of peace and goodwill. Most pageants at the time focused primarily on physical looks, which garnered lots of criticism during the 60s and 70s and the women's movement. The concern was the history of women viewed as objects and judged solely on their appearance. And this forced what had now become an industry to change pageants to incorporate the aspects of inner beauty, such as intelligence, charity, and personality. Pageants also had the reputation of being rather exclusionary. It was not until the civil rights era that Miss Black America was created in 1968. And it would be another 15 years until a woman of color won the Miss America pageant when Vanessa Williams was crowned in 1983. And that is a little information on pageants in America.

SPEAKER_12 47:51

Ooh, could I add one little detail to that? Colby, what you left out is sometimes the snow comes down in June. Sometimes the sun goes around the moon, but I see the passion in your eyes. Sometimes it's all eyes. Because sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one.

SPEAKER_09 48:16

It's just around the riverbend.

SPEAKER_12 48:19

Okay, whose bit is this? Does everyone hear? I'm doing a bit. And you just essentially burked into the microphone.

SPEAKER_09 48:28

You just essentially segueed into Pocahontas.

SPEAKER_12 48:31

You segued halfway, though you might as well just take the microphone and hold it right up to your velvet fruit loop and just let one blow next time. This, ladies and gentlemen, has been one of the more entertaining pods I think we've done. Kobe, you really you stepped up to the plate, you hit a lot of foul balls, but you got a piece of that ball on one of your swings, and it knocked the pitcher right out of the Adam's apple, and now he'll never play again. And to that I say, job well done.

SPEAKER_09 49:03

Thank you. And thank you for kind of almost paying attention.

SPEAKER_12 49:07

I really paid more attention this time than I ever have when you've been doing the breakdown because of my 45 pieces of paper. That was too much, but look, we made it. And you know what? That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Because all of the nights you came to me when some silly girl had set you free. So join us next time when we break down yet another case file of the Townsend Agency on Good Morning Charlie, a Charlie's Angels Rewatch podcast.

SPEAKER_09 49:40

Bye, everybody.

SPEAKER_12 49:41

Bye, Angels.

SPEAKER_09 49:43

Bye, Angels. That successfully wraps up another mission. Good morning, Charlie is produced by Chris Berryman and me, Colby Smith. Editing provided by Bogest. Be sure to follow us wherever you get your podcasts, and click subscribe so you never miss a call from Charlie. Drop a review while you're there, because we love hearing from our angels in the field. Want more undercover fun? Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for extras, and see even more top secret content on our Patreon. A special thank you to Laurel and Kevin, our Charlie's Inner Circle subscribers. Don't hang up that phone, Angels, because we will be back.

SPEAKER_14 50:28

Could Shakespeare rhapsodize the virtue in their eyes as we hear them each loftily morali? They told them could not capture the rapture.

SPEAKER_16 51:27

Set men on fire. I have this power. Morning, noon, and night it's wing and dancing, some quick romancing, and then a shower. Stage door johnnies constantly surround me. They always hound me with one weak wess. Who can satisfy their lustful habits? I'm not a rabbit. I need some rest. I'm tired, sick and tired of love. I've had my fill of love from below and above. Tired, tired of being admired, tired of love uninspired. Let's face it, I'm tired. I've been with thousands of men again and again. They promised the moon. They're always coming and going and going and coming. And always too soon. I could I'm tired. Tired of playing the game. Is it a crying shame? I'm so name that I'm exhausted.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Hello, cowboy. What's your name?

SPEAKER_08 53:22

Tex ma'am.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

Tax ma'am. Tell me tax ma'am. Are you in show business? Nope. Well then why don't you get your friggin' beetle?

SPEAKER_15 53:44

Hello, Hansen. Is that a ten gallon hat? Or are you just enjoying the show?

SPEAKER_04 54:20

Um the game I want to jelly that jump on your belly and a balloon.

SPEAKER_16 55:14

I don't know, playing the game. So let's face it. Everything below the waist is gonna put it on the